A practical guide to transformation.
Our relationship with our self, our relationship with the world.
What’s the first thing we think of when we wake up? Is it a sigh of contentment? Is it a blessed day where anything could happen? An adventure like the promise of a spring dawn? Or is it a groan of depression, a nameless fear of something wrong? A greyness of a life that’s lost its meaning and hope of anything new or exiting happening? A pile of never ending things to be done, a sense of dread, or just another bland day?
Whose fault is that? Who decides how we wake up to face the day? Do we decide or someone, something “out there”?
Think about it. The alarm clock has just gone off. We haven’t even looked to see what the weather is like and yet we already have an opinion (out of habit?) of what sort of a day we are about to have. No one is sitting on our shoulder dictating our thoughts, so who decided?
Or more to the point, did we even take 5 seconds to check how we felt? Granted, most of us are on auto pilot if it’s the alarm that’s woken us for work. We come too in the shower or over the coffee on the train in to work.
If we accept that we are a normal human being doing normal things we probably fill our days doing a lot of different things. Working for 8 hours a day in the week, travelling for anything up to 2 hours to and from work a day. Reading, listening to the radio, watching TV, cooking dinner. If were lucky talking to family and friends. Maybe even going to the pub for a drink to unwind. In the weekend there’s cleaning the house, doing the laundry, fixing the car, meeting up with friends or taking the kids to the park. Activity and social events or lots more TV and a glass of wine.
Where, in all that day and activity, was there time for stillness and peace? Do we ever stop thinking about all those important “things” that make up our life? Our minds are so busy chattering away, even when we’re not paying attention, its busy thinking up things to say. Little conversations with ourselves. Do we ever just stop to see if were breathing? Do we take time to unwind and listen to our body? How do we feel! What’s our subconscious trying to tell us? Have we been avoiding ourselves for so long our subconscious has given up trying to send messages? Has our subconscious begun relying on physical messaging and is that why we feel so bad when we wake up in the morning?
Have we become unwell in order for our subconscious to get the message across?
Our most important reality is not the world “out there” and all the things that are happening in our life. Not our work or our partner or our new hobby or our next holiday. Not the crush getting to work or if the car that wont start, or how much money we have to spare. Our most important reality is our relationship with ourselves. How we think, feel, and communicate with ourselves dictates how we deal with the other reality “out there”. It would be wonderful if we all had a fantastic relationship with ourselves. If it was ourselves who we loved, respected and trusted, but let’s face it, most of us don’t. The sad thing is most of us don’t have much of a relationship with ourselves at all. We spend so much time focused on what’s happening “out there” in the so called real world that we ignore our own intuition. Our own wisdom and vision is limitless in its potential to guide us and yet we are so out of touch with ourselves we don’t know how to draw on it.
This book is a practical guide to changing our relationship with ourselves, and in so doing, changing our relationship with the world. Simple affirmations that we say over and over again until our subconscious has stopped resisting the new way of being. You could say ego has been in charge so long its forgotten that there is a wiser, more altruistic, honest and trustworthy side to ourselves that is intuitive and brave and possible divinely happy if we let it out. If the two sides of ourselves worked in harmony we would find that our understanding of ourselves and how the world “out there” worked would mean that we flow effortlessly through our days. Making the right decisions according to what is right for us and not what we are taught we should do.
We have been taught that reality is harsh. Society focuses on that harsh reality to the extent that goodness, value and beauty are ignored. Forgotten about. We loose the ability to see them and benefit from them. These affirmations slowly, over time, help us to change our focus from the harsh reality to the good, the valuable and the beautiful. The more our life focuses on this more positive way of thinking the more we attract what is good, valuable and beautiful into our daily reality. We raise our vibrations to match a different reality. We don’t wait for the world to change first. We change ourselves and watch the world change around us. If we vibrate at a different frequency from the disharmony around us, then we are not noticed, we become invisible if you like. The horrible things pass us by. We begin to exist in a different reality from them…….Ok a bit weird to start with but trust me. Life can be way different from the one we’re in now. It’s nice to know there is a path with clear directions to that place if we should choose to follow it.
Some Practicalities…. How do we use affirmations?
We use the affirmations given in this book like mantras. Repeating them over and over, either out load or in your head. We write the affirmation on our hand, put it on our computer or mirror so we see it and remind ourselves to say it as much as we can. If we have time to repeat it for 20 minutes like a chanting meditation, all the better. We say it in our head on the bus to work. The more we say it the deeper it sinks in until we get that little Ahh feeling. Like a mini shiver or tingle down our spine. Then we know it’s worked its way home and we can move on to the next one.
Important note; We use the word Spirit in these affirmations because its non denominational and comfortable but if you prefer God, Gohonzon, Universe, Buddha, Krishna, Allah or ‘essence’ please feel free to use your own truth word instead. What ever works best for you because we do not want to confront ego but get around it. Which brings us to our second point; please do not change the wording of the rest of the fraises in any way. We may think that it would be best said another way. Perhaps it seems like better English, but these sentences are designed to get behind ego, to slip into our subconscious and sit in place of the old repeated patterns that do not serve us. Don’t tamper with the wording and they will serve you well. We even have friends whose first language is not English using them and it seems to work just the same if not better because they are not interfering with the process.
How do affirmations work?
Repetition of action and thought has a profound effect on the brain. From the moment we are born we begin to make neural networks in our brain, that sort of look like trees with branches. The more we repeat a pattern of thought or action the more these branches and trees grow together and link. They sort of form the basic mental framework of our reality and the way we view things. We can make new networks by learning new things. The repetition of affirmations causes new networks to form in our brain and in effect change the nature of how we see the world.
When we are repeating something a lot, like a mantra and we let our everyday cares and worries take a back seat, then the thing (the idea) we are repeating moves to the front of our brain, interacts with the primal governor of our brain and becomes hard wired into our reality. The more we repeat these learning processes the easier they become so we learn faster or if you like we adapt faster. It can become easier to take on more ideas and possibilities that we hadn’t earlier thought of. It becomes easier to see the world in a different way and if we look at the world differently, because of the law of cause and effect, the world reacts differently to us, i.e. we get different results.
Another way of putting it is that the constant repeating of an affirmation is like the constant drip drip of positive energy into the pool of our conscious reality. If we spent most of our lives saying we can’t do something, then our brain will believe that we can’t. So by repeating the affirmation that we can do this thing, eventually the positive out ways the negative repetition and it becomes our belief.
The affirmations are worded in such a way that ego doesn’t quite have enough to react against. Just different enough from normal everyday English that they slip behind egos radar and get into our subconscious by the back door. Reinforced by constant repetition until they are hard wired in and we feel positive enough to accept them as reality.
Chapter one. Waking up, likes and dislikes.
There’s a wise old saying that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Breaking the fast of the night spent sleeping. Sleeping; The time we spend with our subconscious, dealing with the things of the previous day. In the same way we break the fast with food, it is a good idea to break with the dream state in a way that sets us up for a good day back in “reality”. Making a conscious choice first thing, while we are still in touch with our subconscious means the barriers aren’t up yet. We are still half awake, not yet fully engaged with “reality” and “out there”. Just enough time to slip in a positive thought or affirmation for the day ahead. Make it a habit.
Example; Caroline has been a Buddhist for 20 years, working on changing her karma. All because, in 1986 she was sitting on an aeroplane in Shri lanka Airport when a Tamil Tiger bomb blew the Tri Star Jet she was sitting in, in half. Killing 22 people. Quite a traumatic experience, which left Caroline in post traumatic shock for a long time. Gradually Caroline learnt to watch her thoughts. Part of the course in “Mastering her mind”. Gradually, Caroline realised that the first thing she felt and thought in the morning when she work up was, “ there’s something wrong” over and over again. Day after day. “There’s something wrong there’s something wrong”. Just a little nagging thought between getting up and finishing her shower. A feeling as much as a thought.
This left Caroline in a partial state of tension. Adrenals permanently on full alert. She was always busy. Never allowing her self to sit because stillness would allow her to feel and that might not be too nice an experience. Better to keep busy. But gradually she did learn to slow and listen to her inner voice. That’s when she realised she had a subconscious mantra running of “there’s something wrong” and that set her up for lots of other things in her life to be not quite right. Perhaps to always go wrong. It certainly wasn’t a good idea to trust that she was alright. Trust was a word too far.
Caroline started countering the “something wrong” mantra. Every time she caught herself saying it she countered it with “Today is a fine day, today is a day of wonder and miracles”. First thing in the morning, even before the little voice could get a word in edgeways, she called up her mantra of “today is a fine day, today is a day of wonder and miracles”
Ego tried to tell her she was being ridicules. Tried to tell her to get real. That’s not reality, but Caroline was sick of feeling tense and unhappy. She kept it up for days and weeks and months until ego let go and agreed that the day could be a fine day if she wanted it to be.
If “today is a fine day, today is a day of wonder and miracles”, then anything can happen! Wonderful things that we aren’t expecting. Caroline began noticing more around her that was good. And nice things began to happen to her. She also used it every time she caught herself thinking fearful thoughts. It helped. More about Caroline later.
At times it can seem like the whole world is conspiring against us. The bus is late, the car won’t start, the coffee’s gone cold, the child minder cancelled, the freezer broke down and all the food is thawed and ruined. Or the hole in my shoe is letting in water, letting in waterrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Endless little irritating things that get under our skin and make us go GrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Then we snap at the next person who comes along and make their day crap as well. After all, were only human. Passing it on can feel so satisfying, even if we are making the other person miserable as well. And while we’re at it lets listen to the news and collect all the horrible things that are happening around the world to justify our belief that the world is a horrible place and there’s no point. Happy now?
What we have forgotten is we always have a choice. We’re not saying we chose to have those things go wrong. Well not consciously, but subconsciously? Our belief in the world as a bad place is as good a place to start as any.
What we focus on grows. If we focus on horrible things that is what we will see everywhere. Life/ spirit/ the universe doesn’t want to let us down. There are other amazing, beautiful things going on around us all the time, but we’re not going to see them because we’re focusing on the negative ones. To the exclusion of the good.
Attention is energy. The universe is energy manifesting in form. Where we direct our thought-energy and what sort of energy we focus with, is always reflected back at us. One of those natural laws in action. Generally called “cause and effect”. People get a little simplistic when we use that label. Thinking- if I punch him he will punch me back. It’s not quite like that. Here’s an example;
Caroline has been working with computers for about 20 years. She started using the very early Atari music computers and grew from there. But her relationship with them was never very good. If something went wrong she would swear and curse at the computer. Slamming her fist on the table. If she faced a problem of programming or downloading and using a new program she didn’t understand she would get very anxious. Tense and depressed. Always directing these emotions at the computer or herself. Thinking she was crap. Needless to say Caroline had a lot of problems with her computers. The angrier and more anxious she got the more things would go wrong. Caroline had to learn to treat her computers (and herself) with loving kindness. Not to get worked up when she didn’t understand. She learnt to ask for help but most of all, she learnt to bless her computer (offering the situation love and miracles) then walk away when things were getting on top of her. Often, when she had calmed down and returned to the computer she would have a different perspective. Solutions would come to her as to how to resolve the situation. She also learnt to take her computer to be repaired at places where the staff were calm, polite and in good spirits. Not only was she treated better but this also seemed to have an affect on how often her computer decided to go on the blink or need repairs. The net result of Caroline’s more positive energy field was that the computer just didn’t break down or crash as much.
The computer is an inanimate object. It has no feelings. It is energy made manifest. All those electrons and protons whizzing around with an awful lot of space in between. All held together by a magnetic field. The human body is also held together by a magnetic field. Our magnetic field or energy can interfere with the magnetic fields of inanimate objects. In fact if you think about this world we live on, it’s just a lot of “stuff” held together by a magnetic field. We are not separate from that field. We are just more of that stuff glued together in this human shape with consciousness. Not mechanical beings separate from the rest of the world but particles of star dust just dense enough to form life. (As we know it Jim)!
We now live in the wonderful world of quantum physics which has changed our thinking from the old mechanical scientific view to one where we know that life, in its most basic form, is intelligent. Even down at the most minute piece of matter. Smaller than neutrons, electrons, and quarks and such. Life in its most minute form still makes choices and different choices depending on if we humans are watching. What we pay attention to, or what we focus our energy on, changes the results of the experiments. It seems that the human mind or our physical presence interferes with the experiments, not just by our being there but also by what we expect to happen. In double blind experiments, where they watched the one experiment and not the other, they had a different result in each experiment. Its heady stuff and well worth more reading if you’re interested. (It’s not our intention to write a book about all this stuff, but to give everyone the affirmations and tools to help us change. Extra reading will fill in the gaps).
It all means where we focus our energy we change what is happening. We change reality. We change the outcome. What we focus on grows, what we don’t focus on doesn’t.
If we take this back to human emotions and how we feel, we see we can change our external world by the emotions and feelings we are habitually using. Sometimes we can intellectualise too much. Make mental excuses for our behaviour or justify what we do. For some reason the universe doesn’t take much notice of this. It follows more how we feel and our intent in any situation is very important.
For example; Tim’s old car is near the end of its life and he would like a nice new one. While he is thinking about the lovely new car with all its fancy trim and go faster stripes he is feeling good and feeding the universe positive energy. Universal Spirit will do its best to fulfil his desire. But then Tim turns his attention to his old car and thinks, yeah, it’s a pile of rubbish. Look at all the rust and how the steering is sloppy. He get’s so irritated at the constant rattle from the exhaust. Tim is now radiating a lot of negative energy, feeling depressed and down. These thoughts are probably more powerful than his positive thoughts about the new car because he is so pissed off with the old one. Universal Spirit goes with where we focus the most energy for the longest. It answers us with the truth of our energy and gives us another rubbish car. So we must be careful where and how we focus our energy.
Notice I said “it answers with the Truth of our energy. It doesn’t matter if we call it God, Spirit, universe, Energy, Stuff, izness, or any other named belief system we adhere to. No amount of justifying our thinking makes the blindest bit of difference. This universe responds to energy and the frequency of energy. Not to intellect. Not to excuses or political justification. It responds to the honesty of our feelings and thoughts.
What we’re looking for is a way of directing our feelings and thoughts better. Little tricks that can order a better reality in which to live. Rather than going with our usual habitual response to negative things in our life. We break the pattern. Change the thoughts or feelings. Change the energy, so cause and effect gives us another completely different result.
Here’s how we do it;
“I don’t like what I see I made a mistake”.
If we’ve ordered Pizza and it’s not what we imagined we were getting or it’s not a favour we like we say; “I don’t like what I see I made a mistake” and we pass our hands into the air. We don’t have to be dramatic if we’re in a public place. A little surreptitious razing of the hands is enough but this physical act tied to the mental words has the effect of tying the affirmation into our cellular structure. Mind and body together.
What we are saying to the universe is, “OK, I know I created and attracted this reality with my thoughts, feelings, and actions in the past, but I’ve changed my mind. Can we change this reality for next time please?” It’s a much better way of negotiating a different reality than to get annoyed. We know getting annoyed is energy and feelings which will just order the same experience again. We also know that ego quite likes getting annoyed and making a fuss but it’s a poor substitute for getting what we really desire.
Here’s another example: Imagine we’ve just taken our favourite cardigan/jersey from the drawer and as we put it on we notice it’s covered in moth holes. Instead of getting irritated and upset, before we throw the mini fit, (negative energy) we say; “I don’t like what I see, I made a mistake”.
We may be thinking, "hang on, we didn’t ask for moths. How can we have ordered this reality?" But can we be sure we didn’t? Caroline got moths in her house because she had a secret fear that she would get them, her mother always stored clothes that she wasn’t going to use for a while in plastic bags with moth balls (which have a horrible smell). Caroline worked for a woman who had a moth infestation and who gave Caroline some of her old clothes. Caroline had a secret fear the moths would somehow arrive in her house. Whenever she saw something that looked like a clothes moth she would have a little irritated thought about them. In effect lots of little irritated thoughts gave the idea energy and unconsciously invited them into her world… Our thoughts, our energy, our responsibility.
Try it out in different ways. A friend is in a bad mood and disturbing us-
“I don’t like what I feel, I made a mistake”.
Someone just cut us up on the motorway-
“I don’t like what I see, I made a mistake”.
We just dropped a cup and spilt coffee all over our desk and papers-
“I don’t like what I see, I made a mistake”.
The Neighbours are arguing again-
“I don’t like what I’m hearing, I made a mistake”.
You look at your bank account and it’s in the red!
“I don’t like what I see, I made a mistake”.
The list is endless, but significantly it’s for all of our senses. Taste, Touch, Feeling, Seeing, Smelling, and Hearing. For what ever it is that displeases us. When we use it enough the wrong things just stop turning up.
I can hear you already- How do we ask for what we would like?
Remember its all about feelings. How do we feel when we’re in love? How did we feel when we tasted our first ripe mango? How dose it feel to sink into a warm bath after a day working out in the cold?
When ever we find or experience something that pleases us and we would like again say:
“More of the same please” and try and feel pleasure as you ask it. Have that feel good feeling.
We don’t have to wait for the dramatic moments. If it’s a great coffee, or wonderful massage, Ahhh “More of the same please”. If it’s sitting in the sun on an autumn day or an interesting conversation with a stranger and we would like more of it in our lives, say; aaaaah “More of the same please”.
If someone just gave us £50, “More of the same please”.
You’re enjoying playing music with your friends, “More of the same please”.
For example: Caroline was playing with “more of the same please” at the accounting company she worked at a couple of days a week. She liked the job because it was friendly and relaxed. It wasn’t her dream job, because she was thinking small. She was thinking about working for money instead of working for pleasure and fun. She kept saying “more of the same please” when she was working there. Shortly after, she was offered very highly paid work three days a week at an architect’s office. She took it but found it very challenging if not a little scary. She worked well and did what was required but realised that we have to say “more of the same please” when it’s something we really like and desire more of. Not something that is just OK or average. Do we want to live an average life? No way. We are thinking happy, harmonious, graceful and abundant.
Sometimes we find it hard to create a more wonderful life because we don’t know what we want. Using “more of the same please” can at least start us off in the right direction. From there new things emerge and we can decide whether we want more of the same or not when we get there.